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Why Are So Many Ladies Getting Camel Toes?

Celebrity Camel Toe: Kloe Kardashian – The celebrity is so widely known for camel toe sightings that she named hers Camille. Miley Cyrus – The wrecking ball singer enjoys flaunting her camel toe.  Mariah Carey busted out a massively crazy camel toe while performing at an Austrian ski resort. This makes us somewhat uncomfortable and warm and fuzzy inside all at the same time.

I’ve never laughed as hard as I did the other day after my girlfriend pleaded with me to drop her off in Castries before closing time for the post office: she needed to pick up a very special package, she said. Being the undisputed queen of Za fey Moun, I naturally wanted to know what made the particular package so special. Well, let me tell you chile (like the great Kevin Hart might say) I just wasn’t ready!

Pointless beating about the bush: it seems as my bestie had secretly decided certain parts of her anatomy needed boosting and had gone and done something about it. Back in my car with all windows wound up tight, she could barely contain herself as

she tore open her package wrapping for her first peep of her new Phatty-Phat panties, specially designed to deliver what Mother Nature had not. At least, not to everyone: a camel toe.

Now just in case you’re a CIP investor recently arrived from Mars, let me explain what’s a camel toe—courtesy the Urban Dictionary: “A camel toe is when a woman’s pants are so tight that the actual fabric digs into her beaver, creating the two-mounded image of a camel’s toe.” In more lady-like language, a camel toe allows a viewer to read a woman’s lips even when the rest of her is inscrutable.

Of course there really is nothing new under the sun. For as long as women have worn pants, the tighter variety especially, there has been the camel toe. But back in the day ladies were into concealing; not revealing. The pants they wore left lots of breathing room at the crotch, the better
to keep the imagination hot and wild with wonder. Oh, but how things have changed. The trend now is to wear pants, long and short, whose purpose is to advertise to the world what was once to be viewed only in the dark.

My friend’s pretty easy on the eye, whatever she has on. So I couldn’t help wondering why she needed to put the contours of her honey pot on special display? Or even a hint of it. She reminded me of statistics that suggest the average male thinks about sex nearly all of the time. And nothing excites their thinking more than a pair of shorts as revealing of the fore as the aft. Men are fascinated by female phat-ness she said. And the right fit of pants takes themale imagination to amazing dimensions, if you know what I mean. A camel toe, then, is the female equivalent of the male bulge— proof that a woman is not only pretty up there but also that she’s packing down there!

Of course, some gals have all the luck. They were born with what others have to buy. So, realizing this, the folks who dictate what women should wear have made life a little easier for the not so blessed. Now even the least naturally endowed and appeared over-endowed—and no one will know the difference until he’s so hot to trot he can’t tell what’s natural from what’s manufactured. By the way, I can’t help wondering who came up with the padded crotches idea. But I’m willing to bet it was not someone with a name like Phyllis or Joan or Janet. Bet your life the inventor was male!

What a world: in just a few years we’ve moved from padded bras to padded behinds and now we have padded fronts. We’ve come from It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad World to a world where truth is whatever you believe to be true. So if what you see with your own eyes tells you a lady is stacked or packing, well, as they say, go for the pudding!

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